tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35341804376312608892024-02-18T23:21:48.271-06:00[-PROFOUND COMEDY-]Mildly humorous Articles, Updates, Sketches, and Tidbits.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-20923760360424940562009-06-09T17:55:00.003-05:002009-07-04T15:11:07.644-05:00NEW AND IMPROVED SITE<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="HTTP://PROFOUNDCOMEDY.WORDPRESS.COM"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">HTTP://PROFOUNDCOMEDY.WORDPRESS.COM</span></a></span><div><br /></div><div>Bookmark the new site! I already have tons of new material up.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>-mr</div>Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13112376498894782403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-55537404247882596352009-06-02T22:04:00.005-05:002009-06-02T22:12:34.391-05:00Rush Limbaugh's Family LIfe<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(82, 82, 82); font-family:Verdana;font-size:11px;"><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:11px;"><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">The following is based on Conservative radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh's remarks on Barack Obama's presidency:</span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">If Rush Limbaugh treats his kid like he treats Obama...</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Daddy, are you busy working?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Of course I'm busy working! I'm a working man. A working class man.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Oh. Okay. I was wondering if you could drive me to my soccer game?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Why do you even play soccer anyway?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">What do you mean?--</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">I meeean, you're going to FAIL, so why bother?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Wha--Why would you say that, daddy?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">You're going to FAIL! It's inevitable.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">I'm the best player on the team, and the best candidate for team captain--</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">HA! Best candidate. You little creep. YOU are going to FAIL.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Why are you saying that daddy? Do you want me to fail?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do want you to FAIL. You deserve to fail.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">But I'm your son, it's your job to support me, you should be proud--</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Proud of what?! You're probably gonna blow us all up anyway, homo-terrorist.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">What are you talking ab--</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Yeah, you're gonna blow us all up. They think you're some kind of Magic Negro!</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">I'm confused, daddy--</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Get that bone out of your nose, Negro!</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">RUSH JR.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">I'm gonna go get mommy.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div></span></div></span>Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13112376498894782403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-26655641328361604862009-05-26T16:00:00.001-05:002009-05-26T16:01:55.559-05:00Sitting DuckHere is boredom's child.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xbTs_aUZjDw&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xbTs_aUZjDw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13112376498894782403noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-78135712919759478422009-05-26T10:39:00.004-05:002009-05-26T10:51:01.959-05:00Purell Blamed For Swine Flu<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">LOS ANGELES, CA--"Kills 99.99% of All Germs." The promise of protection. The beacon in a sea of coughing and sneezing. Such a promise does not go unappreciated, and must be upheld for the good of the nation, nay, for the good of the world. Alas, the Purell company has violated our trust. The ensuing swine flu crisis has caused an uproar among avid Purell users, many of whom have been affected by the virus, forcing the company to tweak bottle labels. The labels now read, "Kills 87.34% of All Germs." </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Of this drastic change, CEO Mike Weinburg says, "We can't lie to consumers. We can't keep saying 99.99%. That would be shameful and dishonest, like Dick Cheney or ShamWow."</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Unfortunately, as more and more Purell users nationwide come down with the H1N1 virus, this percentage drops significantly every single day by an average of 3%. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Weinburg says, "I don't know what we're gonna do. Seriously. We thought about using nuclear waste as an alcohol substitute, but you know nuclear waste. Too green. People won't buy green. And you wouldn't be able to get high off of Purell anymore. I don't know if it's just me, but that's why I love Purell."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Such unreliability in hand sanitizer products has caused Purell and its French, Italian, and German sub-companies (Purelle, Purello, and Purellavitch) to consider bankruptcy. This week, the Secretary of Health and Human Services will call an emergency meeting with leading hand sanitizer and soap companies.</span></span><br /></div></div>Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13112376498894782403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-86629507446800507032009-04-18T16:00:00.004-05:002009-04-28T21:10:20.933-05:00Sometimes Weekly Update 15This one goes in my Top 5 List. Personally.<div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KteX0UyYX5w&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KteX0UyYX5w&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></div>Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13112376498894782403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-76775410945310032602009-04-13T17:01:00.002-05:002009-05-26T10:52:37.400-05:00Sometimes Weekly Update 14My co-anchor for this episode is Eli Motycka, my apprentice.<div>(He won't like that I called him my apprentice, so keep it on the DL.)<br /><div><br /></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BA7EIwpxL6A&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BA7EIwpxL6A&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-41121351031752011552009-04-08T21:34:00.001-05:002009-04-08T21:35:22.998-05:00BeanCool Beans.<div><br /></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vtCINCS11to&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vtCINCS11to&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-85609734044634091422009-03-19T15:09:00.003-05:002009-03-30T13:21:36.404-05:00Sometimes Weekly Update 13Thank you to my guest writer, Eli Motycka, who wrote several of the following jokes.<br />Eli is also my Controversy Correspondent, so keep checking this blog for his appearance on the next Weekly Update.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9H68eHlIre8&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9H68eHlIre8&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-70641818642710686032009-03-17T19:06:00.002-05:002009-03-30T13:14:10.477-05:00Georgina (New Character)Enjoy the makings of this new character. <br />It's weird.<br />I know.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/oj00H1TG5VE&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/oj00H1TG5VE&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-88541694154951636722009-03-17T18:21:00.001-05:002009-03-17T18:22:25.668-05:00Sometimes Weekly Update 12Enjoy. I wrote the jokes sorta last minute, but I'm just having fun anyway...Hope you like!<div><br /></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GJWOIBd56fc&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GJWOIBd56fc&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-33176361326106599472009-03-07T18:57:00.002-06:002009-03-07T18:58:22.641-06:00Tidbit #2: Sophistication DominationEnjoy this lame video, which explores a very deep question: "What if Americans were as sophisticated as the British?"<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AFfqhnRtE_E&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AFfqhnRtE_E&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-2007977203398512272009-03-02T19:52:00.002-06:002009-03-30T13:14:40.168-05:00Tidbit #1: Normal v. DrunkA hamster in to different situations. <div>LIVE! (Lame and Immature Videos, Everyone!)</div><div><br /></div><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2M7vYSstrKI&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2M7vYSstrKI&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-37426132105731994082009-03-01T18:02:00.001-06:002009-03-01T18:02:48.668-06:00Sometimes Weekly Update 11<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nJTUkwP2k_o&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nJTUkwP2k_o&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-38328606362305567702009-02-22T18:04:00.003-06:002009-02-22T18:06:45.019-06:00Sometimes Weekly Update 10<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vDM7BVrkZQc&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vDM7BVrkZQc&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-45156335424245329382009-01-31T19:41:00.002-06:002009-01-31T19:52:40.858-06:00Sometimes Weekly Update 9Sorry it's so late. This is the one for the inauguration.<div><br /><div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4-Eo62uioYI&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4-Eo62uioYI&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-87993584911007037322009-01-29T19:04:00.003-06:002009-02-05T20:19:12.799-06:00Sometimes Weekly Update 8This was the one for New Year's. I'll put up the next one this weekend.<div>Also, I wrote a 2-page sketch that I'm going to film with my friend Noah that you Coke Lady fans will appreciate. (Ms. Ice...?)</div><div>*My apologies for the very quick and miniscule subtitles. This will get better.</div><div><br /></div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FWjRulpcn-w&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FWjRulpcn-w&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-25047486766372980692009-01-28T20:59:00.004-06:002009-02-05T20:22:38.019-06:00Sincere ApologiesI am SO sorry about the lack of comedic material in the past month or so. There's no excuse for January's barrenness. But don't think I haven't been working, I most certainly have. Here's what I've done:<br /><br />-Wrote SWU 8, which was <span style="font-style: italic;">supposed</span> to be put online for New Year's. But hey. I'll film it anyways.<br />-Wrote SWU 9, which was <span style="font-style: italic;">supposed</span> to be put online for the Inauguration. But hey. I'll film it anyways.<br />-Baked some cupcakes, which were <span style="font-style: italic;">supposed</span> to be for a party. But hey. I skipped lunch.<br />-Began writing a speculative script for my favorite TV comedy, "30 Rock." I'm about 15 pages in, and expect to have a rough draft of about 35 pages by March 1st.<br /><br />So, there you have it dudes (and dudettes, but personally I strongly dislike this word and try to avoid utilizing it if at all possible. But I seem to have broken my rule).<br />I do hope that you, reader of this tidbit and watcher of my holy videos, will forgive my ignorance and move on with me towards a brighter, funnier, and much more pink and fluffy future. Peace (in the Middle East).<br /><br />From your beloved<br />Margaret<br />or<br />Maggie<br />or<br />Mag<br />or<br />Mags<br />or<div>מלכה<br /><div>or<br />Hyacinth<br /><br />P.S. I informed several of you, my minions, that I would be taking improv classes and performing sometime in March. This is sadly no longer true, as not enough people enrolled in the class. <span style="font-style: italic;">But</span>, there is a chance I might get to do something(s) else, maybe even something(s) better. It's a secret. You have to ask me personally.<br /><br />Aren't cliffhangers so much</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-87342233532805878052008-12-23T19:17:00.003-06:002009-02-05T20:27:13.360-06:00Phone CommercialI put this together during one of my "oh-my-gosh-I'm-dying-of-boredom" moments.<div>So don't expect another one of my <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YpZ3Wxu6iM&feature=channel_page">Nice Jewish Girl Raps</a>...(actually, because of its success, I'm thinking about writing another one)...</div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6ab0wl7NwZk&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6ab0wl7NwZk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-56786083298156624652008-12-21T15:08:00.001-06:002008-12-21T15:09:33.847-06:00Sometimes Weekly Update 7Enjoy the latest news broadcasted live from Margaret's desk.<div>And by live, I mean filmed entirely beforehand.</div><div><br /></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ejgbMgISh54&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ejgbMgISh54&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-3069876832954857092008-12-20T14:36:00.007-06:002008-12-20T15:16:23.738-06:00Chrismakwanzakuh: The Non-Existent Hybrid Holiday That Many Americans Think Is Culturally Significant But In Reality These People Are Living A Lie<div>(This is my first piece for my new segment - Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear: A Humor Column For a Fictitious Publication).</div><div><br /></div>Christmas. <div>The holiday that claims it begins December 25th but starts one day earlier in November every year.</div><div>Well, I'm not Christian, but I have to say, I love everything about Christmas. Except, of course, for Mariah Carey's interpretation of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" on 93.9, the station that plays continuous Christmas music starting the day after Thanksgiving. </div><div>But you know, I could get used to the cocky R&B version of "Silent Night". If it wasn't a cocky R&B version of "Silent Night".</div><div>Don't be fooled by the lack of cheesy Chanukah tunes. They're out there. They're just hiding from the more assertive Christmas music. I mean, modern interpretations of classic carols have it easy. All musicians have to do is make every note into three different ones and let their voices get increasingly softer and more dramatic with every end of a phrase.</div><div>You hear this kind of "music" in every restaurant, bookstore, shop, Whole Foods...It would be so easy to slip in some subliminal messaging, it's not even funny. </div><div>Just kidding. </div><div>It's hilarious. I'm totally writing a letter to Sony Music.</div><div>So, have a very merry (Mariah) Christmas.</div><div>And if you're Jewish, have a lowly, insignificant Chanukah. Hannukah. Hanukkah. Oh, crap it, just have a good one.</div><div><br /></div><div>P.S. If you ARE Jewish, please stay as far away as possible from Menorah flames. Last year I burnt my hair. I didn't EXACTLY mean to. Seriously though, it does not smell nice. If I were you, I'd ask Chanukah hairy for some hair-things. </div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-14506621271846450592008-12-13T18:34:00.002-06:002008-12-13T18:36:37.726-06:00Sometimes Weekly Update 6<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2dggkki3FYo&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2dggkki3FYo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><div>Here's my "Christmas Special", which is really not Holiday cheery or anything, but I had to call it that because all shows have a "Christmas Special". You know what, I'm going to go taboo on this and call it "Hannukah Special," which works even better because its my own religion.</div><div><br /></div><div>Shmorg.<br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-77919277351586870922008-11-27T17:21:00.002-06:002008-11-27T17:29:57.562-06:00Sometimes Weekly Update 5This ones really short. Enjoy!<div><br /></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/J6ILUpAY5iM&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/J6ILUpAY5iM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-44756120288409608112008-11-17T19:45:00.002-06:002008-11-19T17:31:04.074-06:00Nice Jewish GirlEPIC 'FREESTYLE' RAP, yo. I don't really talk like this. I swear.<div>Sorry about the missspelling of "Tov".</div><div>And the misspelling of misspelling. </div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1YpZ3Wxu6iM&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1YpZ3Wxu6iM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-49192963139779903192008-11-17T18:18:00.003-06:002008-11-17T18:30:40.060-06:00The Coke LadyMy first character video. I came up with Nadine after spending a lot of time in Knoxville with my family there. I've met people who talk exactly like this. And they're nice people. But my impression's way off. Real knoxvillians like Nadine would buy <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">diet</span> coke. It's much healthier. Hope you like it!<br /><div><br /><object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/C5fAwWZSH0k"> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/C5fAwWZSH0k" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed> </object><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3534180437631260889.post-54550264449888801822008-11-15T15:05:00.000-06:002008-11-15T15:06:29.507-06:00Sometimes Weekly Update 4Making bad news...badder.<div><br /></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lk94AyZ86ys&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lk94AyZ86ys&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2