Sometimes Weekly Update 8

This was the one for New Year's. I'll put up the next one this weekend.

Also, I wrote a 2-page sketch that I'm going to film with my friend Noah that you Coke Lady fans will appreciate. (Ms. Ice...?)

*My apologies for the very quick and miniscule subtitles. This will get better.

Sincere Apologies

I am SO sorry about the lack of comedic material in the past month or so. There's no excuse for January's barrenness. But don't think I haven't been working, I most certainly have. Here's what I've done:

-Wrote SWU 8, which was supposed to be put online for New Year's. But hey. I'll film it anyways.
-Wrote SWU 9, which was supposed to be put online for the Inauguration. But hey. I'll film it anyways.
-Baked some cupcakes, which were supposed to be for a party. But hey. I skipped lunch.
-Began writing a speculative script for my favorite TV comedy, "30 Rock." I'm about 15 pages in, and expect to have a rough draft of about 35 pages by March 1st.

So, there you have it dudes (and dudettes, but personally I strongly dislike this word and try to avoid utilizing it if at all possible. But I seem to have broken my rule).
I do hope that you, reader of this tidbit and watcher of my holy videos, will forgive my ignorance and move on with me towards a brighter, funnier, and much more pink and fluffy future. Peace (in the Middle East).

From your beloved
Margaret
or
Maggie
or
Mag
or
Mags
or

מלכה

or
Hyacinth

P.S. I informed several of you, my minions, that I would be taking improv classes and performing sometime in March. This is sadly no longer true, as not enough people enrolled in the class. But, there is a chance I might get to do something(s) else, maybe even something(s) better. It's a secret. You have to ask me personally.

Aren't cliffhangers so much

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I put this together during one of my "oh-my-gosh-I'm-dying-of-boredom" moments.

So don't expect another one of my Nice Jewish Girl Raps...(actually, because of its success, I'm thinking about writing another one)...

Sometimes Weekly Update 7

Enjoy the latest news broadcasted live from Margaret's desk.

And by live, I mean filmed entirely beforehand.

Chrismakwanzakuh: The Non-Existent Hybrid Holiday That Many Americans Think Is Culturally Significant But In Reality These People Are Living A Lie

(This is my first piece for my new segment - Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear: A Humor Column For a Fictitious Publication).

Christmas. 

The holiday that claims it begins December 25th but starts one day earlier in November every year.

Well, I'm not Christian, but I have to say, I love everything about Christmas. Except, of course, for Mariah Carey's interpretation of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" on 93.9, the station that plays continuous Christmas music starting the day after Thanksgiving. 

But you know, I could get used to the cocky R&B version of "Silent Night". If it wasn't a cocky R&B version of "Silent Night".

Don't be fooled by the lack of cheesy Chanukah tunes. They're out there. They're just hiding from the more assertive Christmas music. I mean, modern interpretations of classic carols have it easy. All musicians have to do is make every note into three different ones and let their voices get increasingly softer and more dramatic with every end of a phrase.

You hear this kind of "music" in every restaurant, bookstore, shop, Whole Foods...It would be so easy to slip in some subliminal messaging, it's not even funny. 

Just kidding. 

It's hilarious. I'm totally writing a letter to Sony Music.

So, have a very merry (Mariah) Christmas.

And if you're Jewish, have a lowly, insignificant Chanukah. Hannukah. Hanukkah. Oh, crap it, just have a good one.

P.S. If you ARE Jewish, please stay as far away as possible from Menorah flames. Last year I burnt my hair. I didn't EXACTLY mean to. Seriously though, it does not smell nice. If I were you, I'd ask Chanukah hairy for some hair-things. 

Sometimes Weekly Update 6

Here's my "Christmas Special", which is really not Holiday cheery or anything, but I had to call it that because all shows have a "Christmas Special". You know what, I'm going to go taboo on this and call it "Hannukah Special," which works even better because its my own religion.

Shmorg.

Sometimes Weekly Update 5

This ones really short. Enjoy!

Nice Jewish Girl

EPIC 'FREESTYLE' RAP, yo. I don't really talk like this. I swear.

Sorry about the missspelling of "Tov".

And the misspelling of misspelling. 

The Coke Lady

My first character video. I came up with Nadine after spending a lot of time in Knoxville with my family there. I've met people who talk exactly like this. And they're nice people. But my impression's way off. Real knoxvillians like Nadine would buy diet coke. It's much healthier. Hope you like it!

Sometimes Weekly Update 4

Making bad news...badder.

Days of Their Lives

Noah and I did a mock soap opera. So it's supposed to be bad acting. We basically did improv in front of the camera, as that's not too much different from how REAL soap operas are written. 

I make fun of the soap opera we make fun of in this video in one of my Updates down below, so if you haven't watched my vids yet, you should. :)

Savor the sexism:

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Yes, this is improv. No, I'm not on medication.

Sometimes Weekly Update 3

The most recent project...I hope you like. Filmed it on a school night at like 9:00, so...

Sometimes Weekly Update 2

Here's another one I made just now. Still in the experimental stages...I should've have written a couple more jokes, but I don't feel quite up to it. Here 'tis.

(Oh, and don't forget to watch the joke at the end of the video).

Sometimes Weekly Update 1

I think, overall, it's a pretty good first time success.